Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Let's ban all toys "for the children"

The world's dumbest eight-year-old girl swallowed 30 steel balls and magnets from a toy last month, but of course it's all the manufacturer's fault:

"Haley's father, Jason Lents, told CBS News he "really" doesn't understand how Haley could have consumed the parts, because she 'gets A's and B's, and we taught her not to do stuff like this.'"

Like father, like daughter, I suppose, because he's now agitating for some sort of "toy swallowing awareness" education for all kids, not just the stupider ones. And shame on him for parading his daughter around on national TV for something that was obviously her fault, whether intentional or not, ensuring that this incident will follow her around for the rest of her life, and allowing cynical scribes such as myself to use her as an example of the end of personal responsibility.

Eight years old = third grade. If you don't know by then not to eat your toys, then there's probably no hope for you, unfortunately.

"Haley told Rodriguez she wants other kids to know they shouldn't eat toy parts."

They're way ahead of you, dear.

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