Coparazzi

Did you hear the one about Beverly Hills police officer Roy Garrett, who spent his entire career shaking down celebrities at traffic stops for autographed photos in return for letting them out of their tickets?

"Margaret Barrett, director of entertainment and music at Heritage Auctions in Beverley Hills, said: 'Officer Garrett was a traffic officer in Beverly Hills during the 50s and 60s.

'He had a good gig going and had the same Modus Operandi for years.

'He would have some reason to stop these stars of Hollywood's golden era on places like Sunset Boulevard, like for speeding or running a red light.

'But he made no secret of offering to let them off a ticket in return for a signed photo of them.

'It was all quite innocent and in any case he died about 15 years ago so he isn't going to get busted for it now.'"

It wasn't a "good gig", ma'am, it was a textbook abuse of his authority.  What happens when one of those stars runs over an innocent person because their reckless driving was never officially addressed?  We also can't imagine any tourists getting a similar break from Officer Garrett.  No doubt those hapless gawkers served as the chumps who filled out his monthly ticket quota.

Garrett's family, feeling no sense of shame over his actions, is preparing to auction off the trove to finance a trip to Disney World.  Hopefully they'll drive to their Florida destination and in so doing rack up a bunch of moving violations.