Your tax dollars at work

The U.S. Attorney's Office in Salt Lake City, apparently not having anything more important to do (Terrorism? Homicide? Sorry, too busy), has charged two brothers who operate an Internet DVD sales company with shipping "obscene" adult videos to Utah.

"The films were violent and extreme and had no artistic value, said U.S. Attorney Brett Tolman"

I've got a news flash for you, Ebert. Most porn films aren't directed by Martin Scorsese or Steven Spielberg. That doesn't make them obscene, just pedestrian. By the way, just what was depicted in these films that was so violent and extreme? Let's ask an FBI agent who watched them (probably multiple times, just to make sure he had his report straight, among other things):

"None of the three films has a plot line," an FBI investigator wrote in a statement detailing the charge. "The films consist entirely of scenes of hard-core sexual acts being performed by multiple men and women."

So? Just about every porn film made has no plot line, and has "scenes of hard-core sexual acts". (Not that I've seen any lately, honey. Love you!!!! Honey?) Why single out these movies and this company, out of the bajillions of Internet firms doing the exact same thing? Jealousy at all of the fun the actors were having, and all of the fun the good people at home were experiencing? I suppose they'll be going after Cinemax next.

A consenting adult that's over 18 uses the Internet to order films from consenting adults, starring consenting adults doing various things to each other, to be viewed in one's private home, and I'm supposed to pat this U.S. Attorney on the head for charging the company involved? Where's the crime? If you ask me, the criminal is whoever nominated this U.S. Attorney for his job, as well as U.S. Attorney Jeffrey Taylor, the guy who just couldn't find proof that Senator Webb's aide carried a handgun into the U.S. Capitol (But I bet he could make a case against you or I doing the same thing).

I'll tell you what, Mr. Tolman. Why don't you send me some copies of those evil DVDs, and I'll tell you if they're obscene or not. After all, I can't define obscenity, but I sure do know it when I see it. Is that accurate enough for you?

Let's make sure and give everyone credit for a "bang-up" job:

"Assisting the FBI in the investigation were the Department of Justice, the U.S. Attorney's Offices in Salt Lake City and Cleveland and the U.S. Postal Inspection Service."

The next time the government whines about having to raise taxes because of lack of funds for vital tasks, be sure to remind them about how they wasted untold money and man-hours nailing these insidious porn kingpins to the wall, for providing material for someone to view in their bedroom.