Not only was he a lemon-sucking sourpuss, he was wrong to boot

Having no other serious crimes whatsoever to investigate and solve, an (Anyone? Yep, here we go again) unnamed Haverford Township, Pennsylvania police officer decided to come down with all of the power of his position on seven young neighborhood kids, tots who in his esteemed judgment were feloniously going around door-to-door selling lemonade.

The only problem was, not only was the cop an officious jerk to these children, he was incorrect as well:

"The responding officer - who was unavailable, whom [Deputy Chief John] Viola would not identify, and whose name and badge number were blacked out of the police report - invoked a township ordinance against vending without a permit. What the officer didn't realize, Viola said, is that the law doesn't apply to anyone younger than 16."

(You know, you're not really complying with either the letter or the spirit of a formal records request law when you go around blocking out all of the relevant information, Chief Viola.)

"'The police officer would have no way of knowing this on the street,' Viola said. 'He acts on information he has available.'"

How about maybe checking in with someone more senior before lowering the boom on a bunch of budding entrepreneurs, if one is unsure of how to proceed? What's that we're always being told by our betters? Oh yes, ignorance of the law is no excuse. Well, that would seem to hold true when it comes to enforcing the law as well as breaking it, no?

Fortunately for all involved parties, Sergeant Joe Hagan of the same force, whom we infer from the article is an experienced, professional and service-oriented officer who possesses the common sense that his coworkers are sadly lacking, has stepped in to smooth over the hurt feelings and restore normalcy to the neighborhood.

Special raspberries have to go to Mr. George Wilson William Nickerson, the doofus crotchety neighbor who called the cops to complain in the first place. (Why wasn't Nickerson's name redacted from the report, Chief Viola? Oh, that's right, he doesn't work for you, so under the bus he goes. Tra-la-la.)

You should be ashamed of yourself, Mr. Nickerson. You realize, of course, that this means war - no more yummy Girl Scout cookies for you.